I should be shot if I ever use any of these pickup lines.

“If you were sin^2(x), I would want to be cos^2(x) so that together we could be 1.”

“Are you singular? I find that hard to believe since you rank so high on my scale.”

“Hi, my memory is faulty and I seem to be lost. Can you allocate me a pointer to your address?”

“Do you mind if we research each other a little? If we’re lucky, we might yield some good results that will eventually lead to a proposal.”

Yep, they came up during random conversations, and they’re not all mine. Please don’t look at me weird.  =[

Great musical comedies

I think it’s about time to revive this blog, although the result may be far less “theory-centric” than it was originally intended to be. But hopefully I will provide more thought-provoking posts from here on out. Before anything substantial though, here are some great links to some great comedic musicians. Igudesman and Joo have the best duets ever!

Mozart Bond

Riverdancing Violinist

Rachmaninoff had BIG hands

Summer in New York

Aside from the cultural and artistic aspects of the City, there are other perks that come with being in New York. For example, see below:

link: http://creativeclass.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/04/03/singles_2.jpg

I didn’t realize LA was so bad. I hate LA. 😦 And don’t even get me started on the pollution and traffic. Seriously, LA drivers are the worst (both aggressive AND careless).

Anyhow, I will be going to New York this summer for an internship at IBM Watson. Wish me luck!

Indiana Jones has been denied tenure.

Assistant Professor Henry “Indiana” Jones Jr.
Department of Anthropology
Chapman Hall 227B
Marshall College Dr. Jones:

As chairman of the Committee on Promotion and Tenure, I regret to inform you that your recent application for tenure has been denied by a vote of 6 to 1. Following past policies and procedures, proceedings from the committee’s deliberations that were pertinent to our decision have been summarized below according to the assessment criteria.

Demonstrates suitable experience and expertise in chosen field:

The committee concurred that Dr. Jones does seem to possess a nearly superhuman breadth of linguistic knowledge and an uncanny familiarity with the history and material culture of the occult. However, his understanding and practice of archaeology gave the committee the greatest cause for alarm. Criticisms of Dr. Jones ranged from “possessing a perceptible methodological deficiency” to “practicing archaeology with a complete lack of, disregard for, and colossal ignorance of current methodology, theory, and ethics” to “unabashed grave-robbing.” Given such appraisals, perhaps it isn’t surprising to learn that several Central and South American countries recently assembled to enact legislation aimed at permanently prohibiting his entry.

Moreover, no one on the committee can identify who or what instilled Dr. Jones with the belief that an archaeologist’s tool kit should consist solely of a bullwhip and a revolver.

…

Meets professional standards of conduct in research and professional activities of the discipline:

The committee was particularly generous (and vociferous) in offering their opinions regarding this criterion. Permit me to list just a few of the more troubling accounts I was privy to during the committee’s meeting. Far more times than I would care to mention, the name “Indiana Jones” (the adopted title Dr. Jones insists on being called) has appeared in governmental reports linking him to the Nazi Party, black-market antiquities dealers, underground cults, human sacrifice, Indian child slave labor, and the Chinese mafia. There are a plethora of international criminal charges against Dr. Jones, which include but are not limited to: bringing unregistered weapons into and out of the country; property damage; desecration of national and historical landmarks; impersonating officials; arson; grand theft (automobiles, motorcycles, aircraft, and watercraft in just a one week span last year); excavating without a permit; countless antiquities violations; public endangerment; voluntary and involuntary manslaughter; and, allegedly, murder.

…

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2006/10/10bryan.htm

Pachelbel Rant